Is it possible to be so free that you actually feel guilty not doing anything productive?

An engine that has been working hard and fast for so long is now able to take a break. Somehow, I feel kinda uncomfortable not doing work. Although the feeling of not having to think about doing PACE work, making notes, and just studying is really nice, it just somehow feels wrong at the same time. Well at least if NTU is going to accept me this August, my standstill is somehow shortened. And if the head office for Spinelli would actually contact me, I would be productive and enjoying myself better.

I really hope they contact me soon though. I'm really excited to go work at some cafe. Should I just sit around and wait, or should I go look for another cafe to work at? Deep inside, I'm worried that they'll reject me even though the store manager says he'll give me a chance. Please contact me quick and end my worrying! I want to learn to make yummy coffee and not just those super sweet 3-in-1 kinds!

The yummiest coffee I ever had was in a hotel in Boston. They had this coffee brewing machine and my mom just threw in the coffee bag (with coffee powder/beans?), and let it brew for about 1 hour, I think. I was just sleeping my lazy ass while she was making it. :D And it was the best thing ever!

Ugh, my neck/shoulder muscles are killing me these days. I feel like my head is just going to fall off and roll away.

I was just looking through some of my old self shots and I really really really miss my long hair. My hair doesn't even seem to be growing much now! It's stuck in shoulder length hair for ever and ever. Boohoo. But I must tell myself that I won't keep trimming my fringe. I really like my long fringe. But that's only good if I wear contacts and not glasses.

Speaking of that, I'm really peeved about this whole eye-vision thing. If I wear glasses, I get this really terrible headaches and I feel that I keep frowning. It's like the moment I put on my glasses, the muscles in the frontal part of my face just tense up and I can't seem to relax them. And it gets worse when I wear glasses outside. But the thing is, my vision isn't perfectly sharp when I wear contacts. What I see is sharp but at the same time not focused, so it becomes blurry. I feel like some partially blind kid especially when I need to wait for the bus. I can hardly see the numbers! Just have to guess the numbers by its approximate shapes. ):

I had gone to an eye doctor for this, and she suggested using dailies instead. But you know what, I personally feel that dailies are somewhat worse than monthlies. So much for increased oxygen permeability! The only possible solution would be laser, but the thing is, my eyes are dry. So would that actually worsen the post-surgery condition? I wish I can just steal someone else's perfect eyes and enjoy the beauty of the world for once.

Yeah, yeah. I know I have to be grateful for what I have. Because they are others who are born blind, or are blind, and there I am being so ungrateful. To be honest, I think people who say these kind of things haven't undergo the pains of others, so they are able to say it. If you have everything in good-working condition, then how would you understand someone who has a not so good condition (even though it may be better off than others)? It just doesn't make sense. *shrugs*

My skin's really bad these few days. I must have angered the pimple mafia, so he have sent this angry mob of pimples to punish me. .-. I feel kinda ugly with the darn pimples and all. How do other girls have such nice, smooth, pimple-free skin?! I think it must be genetics too right! I mean, I do wash my face clean, put pimple cream, stay away from fried and oily foods most of the time, drink adequate water, and am sleeping earlier. WHY? ): Super sad face.

Even pretty people who get pimples are still pretty.

I need a new neck.

Few things to do before I have to start school again.

1. Lose weight & fat.

Okay, maybe it's just one thing. HEE. :D I must be disciplined and exercise more! But my neck is killing meeeeeeeee!

*sigh* *flop*

I shall go collect some fats now, bye.