Upon looking at my old "camwhore" pics, I feel 3 things.

1. My face shape changed a bit.
2. I miss my long hair + fringe.
3. I grew fatter (like duh, needless to say).


1. Even though my face grew a little longer (and fatter), I'm still the same me. Nerdy, totally un-girl like.

2. I can't believe how I did not appreciate it then. MY LONG HAIR. I mean okay, forget about the long hair, but my fringe! Now it's a mess when I let it down because they get clumpy because I sweat too easily. Gahhs, everything's a mess. .-. But for sure, my hair grew much longer since I cut it last year june/jul. It was about my neck/shoulder. Now it's past my shoulder. HOW MUCH LONGER MUST I WAIT FOR IT TO GROW MUCH MUCH LONGER? *pouts*

I know, when my hair grows super long again, I will definitely have the crazy urge to go chop it all off. And the cycle repeats itself for as long as I shall live. Okay, when my hair grows long again, I MUST NOT CUT IT SHORT. I will keep it long and nice. And, I will dip dye it to pretty colors. That's my incentive.

3. I grew WAY fatter. I saw a picture of me 3 years ago in front of this full length mirror, and my legs were so much skinnier! At least the lower part of my thighs. ): Could it be because I exercised my legs and they grew in bulk (and fats)? *sigh*

I wish I went back into time, and told myself to eat less and keep fit while I could. And not to use that darn wheelchair for 1 whole year. THAT was what me fat. Well, the start of becoming fat anyways.


Why does life become full of regrets? A lot of "I wish I hadn't done this..." Is it possible for any man not to have regrets at all? Like, every single decision and action he chose was the "perfect" choice?

It's almost the end of the year, and the end of this school semester. Sometimes I blame myself for feeling too tired and constantly sleeping when I could have put that time to doing productive activities. Even so, I would most likely be wasting time doing don't know what.

The house challenges are killing me. Essay and short story not yet done. And I feel that my photography is not good enough. Although I'm very proud of my pen and ink, I know that there will always be someone better than me. Why is there not one thing that I'm super good at? Sometimes the thought of not being good or the best at something makes me sad. It seems like everyone has some talents and skills that their good at, and also being the best at, physical-wise.

I've got no exceptional skills/talent, no height or figure, no athletic abilities, or any of those looks. Maybe, I could say myself that I have good character. But at times, I flaw my "good" character. If one says that I'm a genius or some sort, I think otherwise because I know that I have a flawed memory and only through constant hard work and God's help that I can score well. Sometimes I wonder why God is kinda unfair to me. Like, did He forget this one girl here?

Maybe by not being special, I have technically become special since everyone is real talent-special. But that just becomes a paradox if I had not stated the 'talent'. If you understand, good for you.

Oh well, let's wait and see. 1 more week.

I'm scared.