This was my birthday present when I was 7. I hadn't expected anything from my parents because I already had a birthday party at KFC. It was my very first birthday party* and I suppose I was really really happy. Which child wouldn't be in a situation like this? My parents presented me this "Princess Crown" during the party and I must have smiled till my cheeks hurt. You might think it's silly but you must understand that I hardly get any toys or gifts from my parents so I treasured it a lot. It had some lights attached to the front which could be switched on and off. But sadly, that broke after some time but I still loved it anyway.

My mother helped my wear the crown and I felt like the prettiest girl there. Being the simple minded me, it was the best gift ever. I felt like there were no troubles in the world. Everything is happily ever after. 

Fast forward 9 years later. The crown is still kept, but the effect on me is no longer the same. What changed? Maybe I have gown up. Maybe the meaning got lost over the years. My parents no longer give me presents. The birthday party I had 9 years ago was also the last one I had*. Why? I thought children had birthday parties? I remembered going to quite a few. Was I different from them? I thought it was quite unfair but I remained quiet. I don't want to kick up a fuss like as if I'm a spoiled brat demanding presents and cake. 

I've grown to realize that birthdays aren't about all those. It's just the day you were born x years ago. Simple as that. But there's still the feeling of the need to have it celebrated the traditional way. Is it because of society that creates this need to conform us to the ways of the world? It's like as if, if you don't celebrate your birthday, it's not "right" because "Hello, it's your BIRTHDAY?!"

When my mother asked me how I wanted to celebrate my birthday this year, I told her I didn't want one. She said that "she could save money that way". I knew she was just joking but it still had the effect on me like it wasn't a joke. 

My parents "celebrate" my birthday every year with a dinner treat. It's not want I want but I don't say anything. Food is something temporary and will be passed out as waste in the end, whether or not it was cheap or expensive, horrible or delicious.

Another reason why I don't ask for presents is because they're just objects and have a certain life expectancy just like us. But I suppose the idea of presents is the thought and not the object itself. Someone would feel appreciated being given a flower even though it will wilt in a few days' time. The flower didn't do anything - it's the thought that counts. I guess that's where the phrase comes from. 

A birthday means another year has passed since your previous birthday. It means you're getting a year older. And with that, you're expected to be more mature, whether mentally or physically. But I don't see any difference in me right now. It's not as if today I would have my "stats" added immediately, like in a game (mental maturity: +1, physical maturity: +1). A birthday is a day just like any other day of the week. The maturity growth happens over a period of time and a birthday is just a normal day which adds on to this "period of time".

Getting a year older means a year closer to your death day. People avoid this topic but it's true anyway and will always exist whether you like it or not. 

It also means the need for urgency to do things. 

Studying? Finding a job? Getting married? Looking for a place to stay? Having children? (Anything else that is part of life.)

Days will pass this day. The date of your birth. Then what? Another birthday again? Will you still think the same about this day?

I'm 16 now. 2 more years till I can get a driving license and drink. 

Then what next?

*I had other birthday parties but I didn't get to choose who I invited (just relatives).