I sorta feel like that now, because of my dumb knee. I suppose if it happened to my left knee, it'll be more understandable, being termed as "老毛病". But no, the worse has happened...

To the right knee.

It really was unexpected. I wasn't even doing any vigorous activity or hopping or any sorts. And you know what? I was in the toilet, at KKH. A FREAKING HOSPITAL. I really find the "accident site" really funny. I mean, in the toilet?!

Here's the gist:

I had already worn my undies, so I was bending down about to pull my shorts up, when it happened. I wasn't even moving my legs. .-.

So it was really freaky and grotesque (even I have seen it for like 7 times already). And the worst thing was that I couldn't even get down on the floor to straighten my leg because of the lack of space. F-! I suppose no one can really imagine what I'm trying to say because it never happened to them, but an "expert" like me, it really is hard to straighten it whilst standing.

How am I suppose to straighten the lower half of my leg, which isn't really connected to the upper half, with gravity against me? And the worst thing was the it was JAMMED, real bad.

1. My leg is bent 90°

2. It's the first time so it's tight.

So I had to relax a bit to loosen it, sat on the toilet bowl and push it back in.

The pain is unimaginable, the sight is freaking disgusting. No one should ever experience this.

So mummy went out to get a wheelchair for me because my leg is weak and it hurts badly. I went to the A&E, blah blah blah, then home.

So now what? Which leg CAN I depend on? It's hard using the crutches because my left leg is ALSO my bad leg. WHUTTTT.

I had thought that my right knee would be mighty fine, and I could at least hop and stuffs, but everything's lost. Mummy says that I should be grateful that at least I have legs. But I think otherwise. This is worse than not having legs. I can bear the pain, but the uncertainty of WHEN it'll happen is scary.

I can be happily walking and then WHOOPS, fall right onto the ground. Nobody really can understand, I mean, what do YOU know? O.O

It kinda feel hopeless, you know? I mean, if you have cancer, you go for chemo. If you have something wrong inside your body, you go for surgery. Physio doesn't help, and I have the feeling that surgery might not help either, unless I get a new pair of legs or something.

I just want to be a normal girl. It's not fair, why do I only get 10 years which of I can't remember anything of it?

*sigh*

Why do others get it so easy?

Note: It happened on 180211, Friday. What was I doing at the hospital? For my doctor's appointment, dummy.

Back to the y'old knee brace and wheelies (to elevate my leg).