Hey bub! Read the post below this cause this is a continued one sorta. :D (ranting starts. prepare!)

If someone asks me this question, "Do you think you're pretty?" (or whatever similar), I will just give a straight answer, NO. For real. My di asked me before. ._. (if that doesn't count, i don't care. :D) And if on a rating of 1 to 10, I'll give myself a 5, or lower. 5 is just a nice way to say I'm average. (: The lower is the truthful bit. (i'm serious here!)

I really got some self-esteem issues but I really think it's okay. It's what I think of myself right? You're asking ME if I think I'M pretty. So yeah. Not what you think. I don't really care because it'll be the same answer anyway. (:

I think most girls are pretty and I think I'm out from this group. (like duh.) I have nothing to be pretty about. Seriously. No face, no body, no hair, no skin (face and my ugly 2 colour toned left leg), no anything. I definitely don't fit to any "pretty" category. And I definitely am not cute either. (unless you consider short as part of the "cute" category then yeah I'm in for one.)

Vivian just told me (yes, i am blogging while talking to her) that someone thought that I'm pretty but I think the opposite. To that person, I was presented in my worse (sweaty), thank you very much. I think the person was just being nice.

Anyway, my self esteem is so low to the extend that I do not dare to look at myself in the mirror with others around, like in the LADIES'. Because the other females are all so pretty. I think I'm like some ugly duckling among pretty swans, going to make a complete fool out of myself. And, I look quite nerdish, my fringe ain't like cool people, and my specs sometimes slips (can't help it) and I have to repeatedly push it back up, irritating much.

I can only "camwhore" using my lousy secondary camera because the quality is so low such that you can't see me clearly. (and also i can see how i look like beforehand although the picture flips.) Bet you noticed that now. Taking pictures with my Nokia 5800 is so different as compared to my previous phone. Now that phone triumphs in taking self pictures, the only down side was the pictures took a long time to process. :/

And I used to be fat too. Not the kind of fat that you have always been fat, but fat as in I grew fat. FOR REAL. You take an active girl and put her on a no-exercise for a whole year, sitting most of the time and you tell me how fat a person can be. Now don't get me wrong, I've seen many pretty girls who aren't the skinniest but they're so really pretty. Like Vivian, she doesn't need to be skinny like some girls to be pretty, she already is. (sorry if you're getting the wrong point vivian.)

I have a pic of me which I don't bother scanning but it's with me, in my box. I was ugly and will ever be. I hated that picture. It was also when I was in crutches. It sucked.

I think some pictures of me are lies, like they ain't the true me. (like as in how i look like really.) But there are times when I feel pretty but these times are only sometimes. :/ I don't go shopping and go dress up and stuff and that makes me feel even not pretty.

Sometimes you can tell when a guy is looking at you, he will have that kind of look. Sometimes I don't get these guys. (as in not understanding.) Maybe that's because we're strangers so maybe it's not so bad. It's from far. I look at myself when the whole thing is over (like when you leave or something) and I say to myself, "What were they looking at? FOR REAL." Maybe it was another girl, yeah maybe it was.

But I still feel people who don't know me and who looked at my pics on my blog are deceived terribly. Of course I'm not going to post a stupid ugly picture of me right? (i wouldn't mind uploading that ugly pic i mentioned because that was the past. :D) Maybe they might have left of with the impression that I'm pretty. I really don't know. And I'm not saying the pics I upload of me are pretty in any way. It's just my "prettiest".

I compare how I look to girls I consider pretty. (and my definition of pretty is accurate.) We're worlds apart. I don't find any similarities at all. Maybe I'm different-pretty. Maybe because I don't look like other girls, people find me pretty? Because they're bored of the pretty ones. I don't know.

I think the only thing that can ever change how I feel about myself (most probably only) is that the guy I like tells me with his own mouth that I'm pretty to him. (: But I don't like anybody so that'll be a long time later. :D :D

So just stick with that. :D

And, my double eyelids are so deep that I can still remember Vivian just realising that I have double eyelids at Tampines 1 on the escalator after how long we've known each other. XD Because I think if you just see the inner half of my eyes, I would have single eyelids. :D I think it's funny. And I think it's funny how can I get rid of eyebags when I have insomnia. (though I sleep now with the medicine, but it's complicated.)

So the reason why sometimes if I find a nice picture of myself that isn't taken by my secondary camera, I would feel extremely happy, for real. Even if it might not be the real me.

And also, if I was pretty/cute/whatever, some guy would have liked me already. LIKED not look. Some guys just look at my stupid leg. ._. And like as in me knowing. Like duh! .-.

And this is also for you, Vivian. (: This whole writing. :D

And I'm just going to dump pics here already. I'm lazy to slowly upload one for each post, later forget which one I've already uploaded. ._. Be prepared to be cheated. I don't know. :/

Maybe it's just the specs. ._. I really don't know anymore.