was looking through facebook (though i know i'm totally dead there), and came across pictures from 2C's class chalet.

and the funniest thing was that all i needed was 1 picture and i knew where it was.


it's at aloha changi if i'm not wrong. (:

and the reason why i know that is because i stayed in that exact same chalet as them. (: (for church camp).

and suddenly lots of fond memories come back to me. (: and the ones most i loved was the last night and day of camp. :D

i remembered looking at that BBQ pit so closely.

1. we played games there. i can still remember them. (:
2. my team was in charge of the BBQ.

and i can still remember the ants which were inside the BBQ pit. *big gasp*. and we torched them. XD (not me, my other team members).

the fun games we played and my acting as Bathsheba (not sure how to spell) bathing. XD it was all so fun!

i remembered looking at that very stairs so closely too. from the 2nd floor. i remembered myself waiting for someone late at night. i remembered myself hoping that that someone would not see me. but i know that that someone knows i'm looking.

and i don't know why but it seemed that because of the camp, it made me feel something. it made me realise something. it made me notice something. something oh so wonderful. something like i never felt before. and i had wanted it to last forever. i didn't want the camp to end.

i remembered we had the same sad eyes on the very last day. i didn't expect that someone to have that same expression as mine. i really didn't.

and i had been thinking about it ever since the camp. i never forgotten about it. i could never forget. never in my whole life. but i couldn't tell anyone. i don't know how. even if i did, would they even understand? would they even really listen?

i know it's definitely impossible. impossible about everything. but somehow, the expression i see every time in that someone's eyes, i know that that someone remembers about the camp. and feels the same way too. but i can't assume things based on my "human reading skills".

i just wished that it had lasted forever. even if there was another of the camp, i don't think it could ever happen again.

and as for now, the time i have may be very minimal, but whenever we look at each other, i feel very contented already.


you may think this is dumb or anything, but i don't care.

if you understand what i'm writing here, it's okay with me. (: but i guess it's quite obvious already.

i don't mind writing this down cause i know that that someone doesn't know my blog exist. (:


sometimes i just feel like shouting this out, but i know everyone would think that it's silly.

silly charissa, why do you always think so much? maybe that someone doesn't even think about it. stop thinking about it already. stop it. it's just making you feel worse. and it's gonna be even more heart-breaking when the reality of truth sinks in. you don't feel that it's going to be so, cause you may not know what the truth is. you don't know anything. don't fall into this trap again. don't. you had fallen into it too many times already.

even if it's going the way you had wanted. how would you go about continuing it? do you even know how to? you're just too scared. a silly coward. what if that someone asked you? you wouldn't even know how to reply. so don't think about it. you've gotta concentrate.

if only if it was that easy to. ):

but i've never talked to that someone before. it's always the same for me. ):

loves. <3