i just get really confused with art. like i'm not sure what we are going to do during art, what we are supposed to have done, blah blah. and i don't know what's going to happen tomorrow for art, well i guess i'm "supposed" to draw a template for my group. but this responsibility is self assigned. if i don't do it, who will? i doubt that my other group members would do it, based on past experiences. [sorry if i have offended you, but i guess it's true.] i just wish that i can have this type of don't care attitude, cause i'm really tired, but i can't. is it in me already? is that what a charissa is? idk. ):

cramming chinese in. acc. grrr, same concept as above.. i still need do the mindmap for art, haven't done it yet. how? homework keep piling up and i'm busy with studying, how to complete? maybe i look at small things as big things, but i really don't know. i just know that i'm a slow person and i can't do things fast.. but the world is just too fast for me. one moment this, another, that.

i think i'm done complaining. hmm. didi and mummy's birthdays are coming, gotta go get presents for them. you know, i feel unfair? [even though it's my own willingness to do so.] that i give presents to my di every single year without fail [except when i was a baby, and a toddler, and when i didn't have pocket money yet.] and yet he doesn't give me anything. it's just weird isn't it? maybe he's just stingy with his money, and he always call me that. i'm not stingy kays? like today, made me feel bullied like that. didi everytime drop his pencil then today no more lead le, then need "borrow" from me. but i just don't like his irritating annoying begging method cause it does not work on me, but instead makes me feel like not giving in to him. then he goes on begging for pencil lead, then mummy kept scolding me, never give him.

i had to teach him right? that he shouldn't always take things for granted, like he is doing so now. i wanted to teach him to LEARN to not drop his pencil and break the leads inside. not like. it's okay if i drop the pencil, and break the lead. i can always just get new ones. .___. not like that. so after all the nagging from mummy, i just gave him 1. and mummy called me stingy. that's jsut her, spoiling her baby darling, sometimes not teaching him real values. i didn't care. just scold lah. not as if first time like that.

hmm, today write the post damn boring. i know too, but i have nothing to write. and today, my state of mind is a grown up i guess so the language is O.O. hahas..

ending off le lahh. need go study some more. just really worried.